We were just talking! He asked me “what I would like to do?” My eyes lowered to his lap. “Would you like to see me again? “ I nodded. “Go ah...ad, take it out” “The man” leaned back giving me access. Hesitating, he put down his cup and took my hand to the band of his sweat pants. “Reach in, take it out”. What got into me? I did what I was told. He was not wearing anything underneath . With two fingers I took out his penis. It looked different, staring at it, holding it, he said “You can feel it,. I should stress this is all fantasy. I managed to talk my wife in going to a swingers club when we are on holiday in amsterdam. I had gone online and checked out a few but this seemed the most suitable and the pictures of the rooms had given me some ideas. My wife only agreed to go as it was not likely we would meet anyone we knew and we would have to go when the club was not busy. We turned up at 2pm as she felt this would be its quietest, before people started to arrive after work. What I had. As I boarded the plane my heart pounded just a bit and I think I saw a bit of tremble in my hands as I handed over my boarding pass. This was to be a weekend like no other and I was wound up like a c***d’s top. The plane landed and a part of me thought of simply not getting off, but I knew that really wasn’t a choice. This was pre 9/11 and so he would be waiting for me at the gate. I decided to be the calm, cool and collected one and get off the plane in the midst of passengers, I would look. Every time I go to that place, I look at the bench and smile and wonder. All the plans we had, you even moved into a bigger place so we could "play" without theinterruptions of neighbors. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I would not have ran away. Would I still be in this lifestyle, or would I have eventually grown sick of it and left. probably not. I remember when we would take Phantom for a walk down the trails and even sometimes down by the water. You would watch your pets.
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That was the start of me letting my anger at myself out on them. I shouldn't have done it, it adds to my shame. But that evening, I tried to act norma
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