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This one is compliments of Johnnymax, a contrast to the MS Windows joke. a variation came to mind.Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit ...icking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water. April, as usual, looked perfectly calm. I stood to get a cup of water from the cooler."How you doing?" asked April."... I guess I'm doing okay. I'm nervous," I said."Yeah, well, so am I," she said."You don't look it. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were here for a sore throat or something trivial like that."She just laughed quietly and smiled. "Or a sore pussy." Geez, keep your voice down. Besides, that's as much Ann's fault as mine." Well, yes, that's true. Anyway, what I really meant. We alone constitute a true, tangible link that touches and controls both Planes of Existence. I learned that I was different from others around the same age as you did-- of course, I didn't have the advantages you had-- willing concubines and all that. I had to make do as I went along. How did you like them, by the way?" What do you mean?" You know-- your eldest sister and the teacher. I made sure they were born with the express purpose of obeying and serving you. They knew it, too. Christina. .. ahhhhhhh! Lol!)As we were walking I couldn’t help but try to get a better look at her on the sly as we were walking. She revealed that she loved hiking as she originally came from what is now Zimbabwe (Rhodesia in her day) which explained her toned, but field event-like figure. She had a very pert pair of boobs for a woman of her age, and it wasn’t the effect of her her bra – cos she clearly wasn’t wearing one.We got to the door of the wine bar, which I opened for her, and she walked in. I.
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